


Watch out lil bitch (all i want for christmas)

by chlotriflouride



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:55:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21637717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chlotriflouride/pseuds/chlotriflouride
Summary: Ok, so, for a while I lost this account. Got it back though, just in time for November. I'm going to be more active.But the gist is this:You're an assassin. Obviously.. and its christmas.
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [me bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=me+bitch).



You are most certainly not a teacher.  
You are most certainly not a very experienced assassin either. As to why you had been assigned to something with such weight, you'd not a single fucking idea!  
What you are however Is a someone who, after a while, grew tired of his temper and decided to put it to good use, and there was potential in your methods.  
Your methods which scorched the skin of men and women alike, who had lain hands on the innocent.  
The man you were sent to kill, a target supposedly capable of destroying earth, did not seem guilty of the crimes you condemned others to hell for.  
You had no intention of killing him.  
Didn't mean you weren't going to see what he was made of, though.


	2. UPON ENTRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Assignment  
> ((the chapters will get longer I promise))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here he comes.

The trek up the mountain  
A huge pain in the ass for even the most fit of human beings, much less someone who was somewhere in the middle. You were covered in sweat, dirt, bugs, and probably other things you didn't want to be covered in. It may have been cold, but the amount of climbing you just did was SHIT ridiculous. Un fucking believable. The students had been doing this every day?? Bullshit.

Still though, you couldn't help but be interested in the task you'd been given. You'd seen an amount of strange things, but an octopus creature incapable of being killed? That you and some other chums, not to mention a bunch of KIDS, had been tasked to kill? That was new, interesting, most of all, entertaining! Maybe except for the child endangerment. That part you were NOT quite a fan of.

You had until march.  
You could make do...


	3. Yo, is that an octopus?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No shit? That's really an octopus? worm.  
> (MOST of these may be short to keep the attention of my adhd readers!)

Standing at the side of a relatively fucking LARGE creature by human standards, your shoulders wanted to come up in confusion, and your head wanted to turn. 

They weren't kidding... You hadn't scratched the possibility of it being truth out, of course... living in a world of assassins and such? what you've seen could potentially stack up to have the potential to maybe.. CREATE something like this. That was something possible, you thought. You would find out later.  
The introduction to your new.. class... began.  
As this giant yellow octopus introduced you as both a counselor and an alternative weapons expert under one category to class 3-E, (you weren't quite listening. You were picking up bits and pieces, but you were thinking! Deeply, actually.) you stared deep into space with a hand on your chin, your mouth moved to the side as it so often was when you were thinking.   
You thought of development. Of accomplishment. Of pride!   
You thought of years of watching someone grow, only to see them just...   
"MR.(X)?"  
You looked up, finally actually staring into the face of this guy. In a way, he kind of had an endearing appearance like a cartoon, teeny little eyes and HUUGE smile.   
You chuckled! How could you not?  
"I'm sorry what did you say?"  
"He asked you to take over the introduction."  
The man in the suit, Mr.... gosh, what was it... KARASUMA! That was it.  
"Oh, right. of course."

You stood up straight, addressing them loud enough to be heard at the back of the room.  
"Uh... Hello! My name is (y/n) (x), I'll be your counselor and... uh.. well I guess I'm… kind of one or two things. Nowhere near as many as Squilliam over here."  
You pointed to your new 'colleague' with your thumb, speaking in a mumbling tone behind your other hand to the class. This earned you quite a few chuckles. You smiled! You absolutely LOVED making people laugh, especially children. It made you feel like you weren't an old person, even though you weren't THAT old to begin with. 

At first you didn't think you'd look forward to the sudden change. At this point, you still really didn't. But the last year of your life would be the best year.


	4. Can and could you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Counselor, occasional substitute, art teacher, you weren't sure what exactly you were SUPPOSED to be... But whatever these kids needed, you supposed, that's what you were.

It was the period just before lunch. Or... the end of it, more accurately. Is that what they called them here? God you hoped so. You'd hate to sound like an idiot in front of your students. As you stared off into space in the general direction of your one feminine co-worker, a sudden gust of air had you flat on your ass after falling backwards off a bench.  
...Green stripes. A flash of them, up until you busted ass on the grass beneath you. Was this man a candy-cane, or some shit?

"Usually, that doesn't have that grand of an effect on people."  
"Maybe it was the fact that I damn near jumped out of my fucking skin in combination that caused it."

"Nuehuehue, possibly, but, I think it may have been because you were..."  
He pointed to Irina. Those green stripes again? Yes, the woman was... absolutely captivating... just fucking gorgeous, but you didn't like how she talked to the children sometimes. Even if you'd just got here, even if you'd just met them, you deemed them worthy of respect. 

E class. End class. You knew what it was to fail. Your whole life was a string of failures, up until assassination came and offered it's hand to you. Everyone has their saving grace in life, and you wanted to help these children find their own. The fact that this woman had to be PERSUADED to be considerate to them, well, you found it to be distasteful, even for a professional hitwoman.  
You shrugged! It was a light shrug, you weren't going to tell him otherwise. Despite the fact you did NOT intend to kill him yourself for entertainments sake, you still did not quite trust him yet. There was definitely some physical attraction to the woman, but then again, It was neigh impossible not to be SOMEWHAT enraptured by Miss Irina.  
He sat down next to you, The ever present grin wide as can be.  
"Yes, Jelavich is a very talented and beautiful woman."  
Your cephalopod-esk coworker handed you an unfamiliar candy.  
You didn't recognize it.  
"it's like starburst, but stronger, and better."  
you took it and looked at the label. Hi-chew.  
"oh hell yeah..." you muttered to yourself, popping one in your mouth.  
"...Returning to the subject, I believe your attraction to miss Irina is only skin deep?"  
you choked! How the shit was he aware of this at all.  
"Nuehuehue, I am much more perceptive than I look."  
You wiped your mouth with your sleeve, looking up at him.  
"...I guess so. She's... very beautiful, but I find her treatment of the children to be lackluster in certain needed qualities."  
"Mmmh… You find her to be abrasive, right? Don't worry, Mr.(x). Each of us have our own way of teaching, while some may not quite be as refined as others, all four of us bring something special to the table. something needed. I look forward to seeing what YOU bring to the classroom, if I'm honest!"  
He put a hand on your shoulder. The short little sermon did calm you in your many doubts about Miss Jelavich, but the hand on you made you feel a bit uncomfortable. Not in the way you'd experienced before, the sort of gross feeling, but you visibly tensed to the point Koro sensei himself noticed. He pulled back.  
"ah, sorry!"  
"Don't worry about it, I'm just a little jumpy."

You felt a sort of shiver go down your spine. It was.. weird. to say the least.  
You hoped this wasn't your body warning you about something, or some other sort of reaction beyond the norm.  
It would cause too much trouble.


	5. well its the 23rd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I need some VOTIES on what to do with this

note from parker!!:  
I will absolutely continue writing this fic. thing is its Christmas eve day, and this fic was supposed to be FINISHED by Christmas, but, it will not be. should I keep writing it with a holiday theme, or drop the festive themes altogether? 

I was planning on picking up the themes of UWU CHWISTMAS later in the fic, with (spoilers I suppose) some mistletoe stuff n whatever.  
the reason I chose to do it in the first place was the side comic of korosensei wanting to be santa, but giving up on it because he couldn't afford all those gifts. apparently he is fond of the idea of Christmas from what I HAVE seen and HAVE read, so I figured: hmmmmm… I can work with this!

however this fic will probably go on into about, oh I dunno, late spring for all I know!! so perhaps the holiday themes should be dropped. after all, not everyone celebrates Christmas. 

thoughts?


	6. A first attempt

Today was your first lesson. You hoped you'd do a good job, and you tracked the mountain.  
School environments were never your strong suit.

As the octopus left the room and you entered suit, you picked up the chalk and wrote the following on the board.  
-introduction to improvised weaponry-  
Turning to the children, you put your hands on the desk and began to speak.

"Once, in one of my previous employers care, I was assigned to a political candidate whom, if not taken care of, would have started a terrible war. I took up the vise of a musician and offered to play for his family. Upon being alone, I suprised him with my instrument and killed him. I asked him to help me put a new string back in place after "accidentally" snapping one. Can anyone guess how I did it, and with part of the guitar."

For a moment , there was silence.   
From the back, Akabane spoke up.  
"While he bent over to pick up something you dropped you bludgeoned him to death with it?"  
You smiled.  
"No. But that's a good attitude about it. I strangled him with a length of guitar wire. Quiet and efficient. I DID drop something, and feigned back problems to encourage him to pick it up, BUT, using the broken wire wrapped around gloved hands I hooked it around his neck and put all my weight on him."  
Silence again.  
"Ah.. mr. X... wouldnt that leave marks on your hands? The wire I mean.."  
"That's what the gloves were for, Nagisa, but once again, good attitude."

You turned your back again and quickly drew a little cartoon of yourself on the board with a pencil raised like a knife.   
"your first assignment will be hands on, no paperwork! I want each of you to find something not explicitly used for harming someone that could still cause someone harm. Then come up front one by one and explain how you'd use it. I'll give you pointers if I think you could hurt yourself doing it. Begin."  
After about 30 minutes several of them were ready, and a few were struggling.   
"Times up. Grab the nearest item and present."  
The groans of panic and frustration were very.. familiar in an old way to you.   
There were confused fumbles with sheets of paper and old binders, half hearted attempts with pieces of wood, and very good ideas spawned from heavy books and thick puffy jackets.  
Where you could you offered your support. But it was important they formulate on their own.  
Creativity and spontaneity were key.   
For their first assignment they'd all gotten passing grades for managing.  
You thought this was fair enough.


End file.
